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Tears glistened in the actress’ eyes, and something uncomfortable stirred inside me as I stared into them. Her back pressed into the shadowy cobblestone walls of the tower, rising step after step into darkness as she was confronted. I sucked in a sharp breath of air as the detective’s blurry shape followed her, coat flowing behind him. Question after question snaked its way out of his mouth in a cold drawl. Who she really was, if the things she said were true, if she was lying even to herself. Cloaked entirely in black, her character now stood at the tower’s summit. Nowhere to go.

I paused the movie. Closing my eyes to breathe, I felt my fingers circling the butter smeared bottom of a popcorn bowl I already knew was empty. What time was it? The TV wouldn’t tell me unless I went all the way back to the home menu. Groaning, I stretched my head over my shoulder to look towards the kitchen. Dirty cups and an open takeout container littered the counter, and I did my best not to process the amount of dishes lying in the sink. Finding the clock mounted on the wall, the hands read 1:06am.

I didn’t feel tired. Hadn’t felt like sleeping much for the last three days either. Was it two, actually? Staring off into something beyond the apartment walls, I realized I didn’t actually know what day it was today. Or tonight. My side was sinking into the couch cushions, only half comfortable. 

What to do. The thought of unpausing the movie made my heart tight. What else was there?

It was times like these that I hated to dwell on. Alone with my thoughts, done with one thing but no idea what to do next. The in-between. The longer I was unsure of myself, the more things I’d find to be unsure of. 

I shot to my feet, carpet tickling my bare toes. The record shelf was my target, and I made myself busy scanning the collection for something to put on as I approached it. Manila tabs caught my attention, eyes stopping to linger on a specific spot. Tucked neatly against the long row of records on the middle shelf were the files I’d kept from the Representative. I hadn’t really known what to do with them, and they just ended up another part of my collection. 

Peering a bit closer, I saw a bit of dust had gathered around the edges of the folders. They should’ve been clean, it was only three days they’d been sitting there. I made a mental note to wipe them off and check the rest of the shelf after finding the record I wanted. Didn’t want to dwell on touching them. It brought my attention back to the tightness in my chest, checking in to haunt nerves and skin across my body.

Fingers finally curled around a record, I gently tugged out a cover with murky, smoky grays around the edges of a demonic red that radiated from the center. Intercrossed lines surrounded the bright red, forming a bizarre, ritualistic shape. I prayed that it would distract me. Placing the record on the turntable and lowering the needle, I promised myself I’d do the bare minimum needed to clean up the kitchen before going to bed. Tomorrow would be rough, catching up on sleep if I was lucky only to wake up to a backlog of mess around the apartment to tend to. Well, tomorrow was already today.

Sharp, staccato guitar strums and loud crashing drums echoed through the apartment. Harmonic vocals reminiscent of a chant crept into my ears as I closed my eyes. Instantly, I knew I felt wrong. The darkness I saw was just the back of my eyelids. My body still shivered, was still here. 

“Fuck,” the curse blended into the crescendo of screams as the song reached its chorus. “Fuck!” 

I opened my eyes to see the den of my old home, thick carpets and drapes giving the small room a warm feeling. It’d been cozy, back when Mom was still around. Dad had a hand on my shoulder, comforting me after I’d come back upset from school. Breath rattled through my ribs as I remembered. Dad was more hesitant to show affection than Mom, who’d showered me in it whenever I even hinted at a need. But in his own way, it made the moments where he reached out that much more meaningful. 

Motionless, the record shelf stood quietly in front of me again. The absence of anyone’s hand clutched even harder at me than the memory of Dad’s touch. Screeching chords and pounding drums still filled the background, and I rushed over to lift the record player’s needle. The apartment was silent, but it still felt like everything was crashing around me. I couldn’t even rely on records or music anymore. They’d been one of my last safe spaces, and now over the past few days that escape had blurred and vanished. 

I needed to do something, but I didn’t know what. It was hard to even process what I was looking at. A series of flat objects slapped against my fingers, hand swinging in a wide arc. Recoiling instantly, heart hammering inside me, I pulled my hand clear of the record shelf. No, don’t do that. The fevered pace my head was pulling my body’s reigns at showed no signs of slowing. Leaning further right than they should, the now slanted row of records bore the mark of my… my whatever I was feeling. Stupid. I closed my eyes and took a breath in through my nose, fighting for a shred of calm. I released a deep breath through my mouth and opened my eyes again. Flopping flat at the end, pushed over by the movement of the shelf’s contents, the school files poked out. 

Taking care of the files was something I could do. Keeping them was pointless. There was no way to return them to either the school or P. The longer they sat in my apartment, the more likely it was I’d be caught by either side. I paced away from the shelf with the folders in my grip, heart seemingly easing from its fevered pace with each step.

Passing through the doorway to my room, I was greeted by the sight of olive green walls and assorted posters of female rock singers or art from my favorite games. I went straight to my desk, finding my lighter right where I’d left it. Doing it here would be a hazard, not to mention set off an alarm that’d piss off everyone else on my floor. The building manager too.

Well, the building had roof access.

                                                                     ***

Cool air cradled my body, night breeze lapping gently against my jacket. Rosden stood before me, an assortment of lights piercing the darkness to decorate downtown’s silhouette. Tracing its outline, it rose as skyscrapers speared into the sky before falling to the low lying buildings around them. If the skyline were a rollercoaster, it’d be an exciting one, full of constant peaks and lows that’d whip you through the air with the changes. The city was prettier in the dark. 

I couldn’t see my old home, but it’d be on the other side of downtown, blocked by the mass of lights and development. Thinking about finding it from up here didn’t hurt as much as I thought it would. It was less personal, a bird eye’s view rather than how it’d been living on the ground. Once I found my house I’d be able to see the corner nearby that housed my favorite Indian restaurant. I hoped it was still there, the family that ran it was always nice to me. My stomach growled and I thought of wrapping myself in a blanket with some warm paneer palak to eat. I felt the dorky smile on my face even as I reminded myself I was here for a reason. 

The school files were stacked loosely over a pile of gravel near the rooftop corner where I stood. I knelt down, lighter spinning idly between my fingers. Preparing to get rid of them already had me feeling better than before, but unease still lurked somewhere I couldn’t root out. 

My eyes were drawn back to the lights of downtown. NHA Headquarters was somewhere in that collection of buildings, but I didn’t have a clear view. Reaching out to them was out of the question. They either wanted to recruit or capture me with no in-between. I didn’t hate them, but it wouldn’t work out. The NHA was heavily invested in rehabilitating the public image of alterhumans, but they were a federal agency and worked through the same channels. Too detached, too slow. I guess they’d been lucky enough to save me from Devin, at least. Government support was why they had a state of the art headquarters among the skyscrapers, glass and glow of downtown. Following the skyline to the industrial district, you could spot where the lights began to dull.

Well, I thought to myself, thumb flicking down to spark the lighter, here’s my contribution. 

It took longer than I thought for the papers to catch fire. After what felt like a minute of questioning if this would even work, the bottom corner gradually began to curl and wither as I waved the flame under it. From a strained and damaged strip, scarred by char marks, fire bloomed. Bright orange licked upwards at the air, asking for more. Heat, possibility. A soft, crackling whine reached my ears. The more pain the papers endured, the more the flame grew, the brighter it became. 

Feeling the tickle of heat on my hand, I dropped the files onto the gravel. The crackling grew louder. Nearly two thirds of the files were now covered by flame. Gnarled black, the corner where it’d started was unrecognizable. Squinting, I could make out tiny flecks of ash flaking off and drifting down to hide in the gravel below. I wondered what would be left when the fire had run its course. A pile of tattered, useless scraps? Dust and ash to be blown away and forgotten? Or simply, nothing at all.

With the conclusion of that thought, I had an idea of what I needed to do. I felt miserable, and really should be prioritizing myself. But I could at least warn someone about going through what I had.

Damnit.

                                                                       ***

I sucked a deep breath in through my teeth and stepped inside Rosden City High School again. Shoulders were pressed close to mine, belonging to a crowd of students I couldn’t recognize or feel like I blended into. Well, I’d already gotten past the hall monitor once. A familiar anxiety strained my nerves as the entrance hall expanded out from the doorway, staircase looming high above me. 

As it turned out, I never even saw the hall monitor on my way to the stairs. Part of me felt almost disappointed. I’d been tensed up, ready, only for nothing. Maybe if she’d found out my situation, I’d be kicked out and that’d be the end of this stupid idea. It was asking for trouble or worse. I reminded myself that it was only a warning. A friendly public service announcement, from one fucked up alterhuman to another. The reminder didn’t help the anxiety, but I at least felt better than I had yesterday. 

Once the files had been all taken care of and I’d returned to my room, the kitchen finally got cleaned. Well, to an extent. Mostly clean. It was good enough. I brushed a rogue strand of hair back with the rest as I slowly walked up the stairs to the second floor, only as fast as the students in front of me. A full night's sleep and a warm shower could do wonders. 

Reaching the second floor, it really set in just how silly my plan was. I had no idea if she’d be standing in the same spot today as she was last Thursday. Today was Wednesday, and the school alternated between an A/B day schedule, meaning she’d have the same first class this morning. That fact and luck were the only things I really had to run into her again. I knew her name, but reaching out through text or social media was a no-go. Finding her in that way was just as likely to startle her into blocking me as it would help. Not to mention those platforms wouldn’t be secure, meaning I’d have to ask to meet in person anyway. Sighing, I continued to retrace my steps towards the counselor’s office. 

I needed something to think about rather than staring blankly at the sterilized, white walls, increasingly reminiscent of a prison. How was I going to start the conversation? Hey Leah, it's that girl you talked to for a few minutes last week. I kinda stole and read about your deepest secrets. Nice gender dysphoria, me too. An aborted laugh worked its way up my throat at the stupidity of it. Maybe I could avoid all the details and just give the warning. Hey Leah, Audrey again, there’s someone who has your deepest personal information and may be coming to recruit or capture you. K bye. Yeah, I couldn’t imagine that going over well either. There was a happy medium between the two opposites I’d have to find.

Turning the corner to the hallway beside the administrative offices, I saw a few crowds of students chatting, looking vaguely familiar to the ones who’d been here last week. My gaze drifted past them, following the empty space by the lockers down the length of the hallway. No sign of Leah. I stared blankly at the spot I guess I’d been hoping she’d be. Was that it? Anxiety that’d been kept to the edges of my thoughts swarmed to the forefront, stomach folding over in what felt like an instant. Not good, I needed to distract myself. I found myself moving forward, walking through where I remembered we’d spoken, no destination in mind. I didn’t want to think about going back to where I’d been last night, couldn’t do that-

“Oh. Audrey?”

I nearly jumped out of my fucking skin. I must’ve looked insane, gulping down a mouthful of air to steady myself and turning towards the source of the voice. Around the end of the hallway I’d thoughtlessly walked to, Leah stood, head tilted slightly and clearly surprised as she looked at me. A wave of determination crashed against the anxiety and I released a deep breath.

“Hey. Is there somewhere quiet we could talk?”

                                                                      ***

The sky was a deep blue today, only a few wispy clumps of clouds scattered through it. Of course I’d ended up on another roof. Leah barely spoke on the way up here, besides saying to follow her and that the lock on the door was broken as she opened it. 

Getting a good look at her, she looked even more tired than when I’d first met her. The bags under her eyes were tinged dark and her cheeks seemed deflated, almost hollowed out. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was being propped up like a puppet, invisible strings running up into the sky. Despite all of that, her eyes were just as intent as they’d been before, pinning me in place as she stood a few steps away. I focused on my breathing rather than the tight sensation in my nerves as she cleared her throat.

“So, what did you want to talk about?”

Time to take the plunge. 

“A few things. The first is that I’m an alterhuman.” There it went, sailing out of my control. My body braced for impact, eyes shut closed to afford myself a brief moment of peaceful darkness. A pinching, persistent pain in my palms from clenched hands reminded me how futile that was and I slowly peeled my eyes open to face the music. 

Vivid blues of the sky and dusty grays of the roof filtered back in, and I found Leah regarding me with the same curious, wide stare she’d shown me before. I hadn’t really noticed before, but her eyes were a pale green. Leah gave a small, silent nod, as if urging me to continue. Didn’t expect that reaction. 

“Uh, my catalyst was a bit over a year ago, and I’ve been living alone with my powers since.” Words were flowing out now, releasing something I couldn’t describe. “I work as a rogue, mostly doing odd jobs for local villains. I’m not going to implicate you in anything, it’s just important because there’s a new villain who’s taking over local business in the city, and things are changing.”

Leah held up a hand, and I came to a screeching halt. Discomfort rose from my stomach and I almost kept talking over her just to get everything out there before the regret kicked in. Her expression had softened, a weak but kind-looking smile on her face. The discomfort stayed where it was, at least for the moment.

“I want to make sure you know I really appreciate you telling me that, Audrey.” She paused, letting the sentence sink in. “I have you at a disadvantage here. Before you go on, you should know exactly who I am. I’m an alterhuman too.”

“I know, that’s why-”

“No, Audrey, sorry. Let me finish.” Leah’s gaze remained set on me, but became more tender. “I work for the NHA. We met before in the warehouse last monday, fighting Devin. You didn’t recognize me out of costume, but… I’m Oracle.”

Oh. Fuck. 

“Audrey, please!” My feet scraped against the gravel and I was already reaching for the door we used to come out here. Oracle had made a mistake not placing herself between the door and I. Her ability was future sight, nothing that could stop- “I’m not going to arrest you, or bring you in, or anything!”

I felt like the metal of the doorknob might crunch under my grip. Heart pounding relentlessly, I directed my thoughts back to my breathing. Leah was Oracle. With a few long exhales, I faced her again. She’d taken a few steps after me, hands clutched anxiously over her chest, closer now than she was before. Same freckles and wide eyes, now clearly distraught. Still the same Leah. I just knew who she was now.

“Sorry.” I muttered, trying to steady my heartbeat. “That’s… a lot. You’re with the NHA.”

“Yeah.”

“You can see the future?” 

“No, actually.” Leah chuckled dryly. “It’s more of an indirect perk of my real power. Which I’m going to tell you, by the way, because I trust you.” I had no idea why she would trust me, but I gave her a nod as she paused, the thumping in my chest starting to ease. “I can hear people’s problems. It works like you’d think mind reading does. The more I focus on a specific one, the deeper into them I can hear. I can pretend to see the future because if I hear the immediate problems someone has, I can predict what they’re going to do next.”

That raised a few obvious questions, but I took a second to process what that might be like. Browsing through someone’s head, with the negatives being all you could see. Leah’s shoulders tensed up, staring at me as she waited for me to say something.

“Sounds like that can get pretty bleak.” 

“Yeah. Talking to people’s hard when you get to hear every problem they have with you out loud.”

“I’m sorry.” Leah nodded, but didn’t offer anything else. “Uh, I can share what my power is.”

“Sure.” Interest replaced some of Leah’s visible sadness, lifting her expression slightly. I felt a creeping smile on my own for a brief second, even as I started to tell a secret I only ever felt would hurt me.

“I have something like a pocket dimension where I can steal objects away to. They disappear, then I can take them out like they were never there.”

Leah’s eyes widened, interest fully taking over any other emotion. 

“That has a lot of implications, Audrey.”

“I’m aware. Got no idea how it works though, so don’t ask me.”

“Dork.”

I scoffed. This whole situation was ridiculous, chatting with an NHA hero out of costume at school. Anxiety bubbled beneath the surface and I reminded myself not to get carried away. Leah’s expression sobered, and she released a sigh.

“I do have to apologize for something else, Audrey. You’re probably thinking it too, but… at the warehouse and the school last week, I used my power on you. I heard a lot of your problems.”

There it was. She was right, it was one of the questions I had after she described her powers. A hollow space occupied my chest, the air strained and uncomfortable. Since the day in the warehouse, even before we’d spoken at the school, before I’d resolved to warn her, she’d known my baggage. Fuck. Did I want to know what she knew? Quickly, I realized the answer was no. I decided to press on with my own apology. Might as well while I was numb.

“Okay. I should apologize too. When I was here last time, I was doing a job for the new villain I mentioned earlier.” Leah already had been standing still, but she nearly froze. “I stole the counselor’s student files. Didn’t realize what the goal was until I read some, including yours. I got rid of a few that would give away alterhumans, but the rest were all handed over.”

The color drained from Leah’s face and I could only watch. I’d seen her anxious, but this was something else entirely. Her eyes lost focus, looking past me into something distant. 

“Audrey,” Leah said, a slight tremor running down her shoulders to where her arms hung at her side. “This is really fucking bad. Fuck, why did I think I managed to stop you?”

Leah had stepped closer during the conversation, but felt miles away. A shiver ran down my spine, the cold sensation making everything feel tight. 

“Leah. What do you mean?” 

“I knew you were there to steal the files, I was able to hear that much through my power. When I pressed you on your experience with the school, the files stopped being a problem. I didn’t know your power. I thought you’d decided not to go through with it… not that you’d managed to steal them already in that split second.”

I knew I should be angrier at myself, but the cold was all there was. 

“It’s my fault. Don’t blame yourself.”

Tilting her head downwards, Leah pinched the brow of her nose between two fingers.

“Yeah. Well, what’s done is done. I need to report this ASAP. I think I can at least tell you what the situation is.” She continued talking when I only stared blankly back at her. “Your employer’s name is Penitent. He moved here from NYC after pissing off too many of the major villains there. Noted as violent and ambitious. He’s brought a lot of Rosden’s alterhumans together in a short time. We’ve been aggressively hunting him to try and limit his operations. It’s why we were patrolling in the industrial district when we found you, actually.”

P for Penitent. It was making a sick kind of sense and I hated it.

“Penitent’s playing dirty by going after hero identities.” Leah’s voice was running hoarse. “He really wants us out of his way.” 

My fingers were trying to find the handle of the door back down again. I’d done what I came here to do and warned her. I wanted to be done.

“Audrey…” Leah spoke calmly. I felt her eyes on me again. “You can’t lay low or hide from this now.”

“Why not?”

“Because Paper Trail is working with Penitent.”

Paper Trail. The one who likely owned the apartment I slept in. It became very clear just how Penitent was able to find and contact me. 

“What does he have to do with this?”

“Paper Trail’s power affects more than just paper, ironically. He can trace any piece of information. Once the villains know their plan leaked, he can follow it right back to you.”

Breath rattled through my ribs. The school’s roof was a wide open area, cigarettes and assorted trash dotting a murky coating of gravel. Stretching beyond the roof was Rosden’s skyline, poking upwards into clear blue. There was so much around me, and I felt utterly trapped. 

“What the hell do I do, then?” 

Leah took a step closer to me, a determination in her eyes that was utterly new. Despite looking ready to collapse, she wore a resolved smile that reached her sunken cheeks.

“Can you trust me?”